


Another life

by Ari of the Ancients (annafromathens)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-04 06:41:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4128585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annafromathens/pseuds/Ari%20of%20the%20Ancients
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When John is hanging helplessly over the side of a cliff, the last person he expects to see coming to his rescue is a wraith. Especially this particular wraith, considering how their last encounter had gone.<br/><br/>Story diverges from canon before the end of the episode "Remnants" (apologies to the Sekkari, who do not exist in this AU ;-) ).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Saviour

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Stargate Atlantis, or any of the characters. This work of fiction is for entertainment purposes only.

When John is hanging helplessly over the side of a cliff, the last person he expects to see coming to his rescue is a wraith. Especially this particular wraith, considering how their last encounter had gone. Regardless, he can’t help feeling grateful, when he watches Kolya being sucked dry, and feels a strong hand closing around his right wrist – his only wrist. 

The wraith pulls him up easily. Exhausted mentally as well as physically, John lets himself be dragged towards the line of trees. There he rests on his back, unmoving, pondering the fact that he has escaped another close call with death. He only lifts his head when he feels the wraith removing the bandages from his left arm, and recoils a little. 

“Let me see, Sheppard.”

A small hope flares in him then. Wraith do have extraordinary healing abilities after all. 

“Can you…?”

“I doubt it. But at the very least I can heal the tissue.”

John lets his head fall back again. He doesn’t care about the pain. He doesn’t care about anything at all at the moment. He brings his other arm over his face, trying to block out everything, but not having the energy to oppose his sometimes-ally. He does not even react when he feels the tingling of the feeding organ on his skin, and the pain slowly fades away until there’s nothing left. Nothing indeed. John just wants to disappear really. 

 

//////////

 

The wraith who decided to accept the name ‘Todd’ sat back on his heels, intently watching his human brother. Despite their differences, he hated to see him suffer. He had done all he could for him now, but, regrettably, his healing abilities did not extend to growing new limbs. He let out a small hiss of frustration and turned to sit next to Sheppard, surreptitiously letting his boots brush against Sheppard’s legs. As a telepathic species, comfort was usually offered in the form of a mind touch. Unable to offer this, after a few seconds Todd decided that a physical touch would have to do, and gently placed his hand on top of John’s thigh. 

John knew he should pull away. He was not one to accept comfort from anyone, much less from a wraith. He just could not find it in himself to move. Maybe if he stayed still enough, for long enough, he would be swallowed up by oblivion and would not have to face the world again....  
He lost track of how long they stayed like this. It could have been minutes or hours, when suddenly he was jerked out of that place of not-feeling by the sudden loss of touch on his leg, and the air sifting around him. 

“Stay still, do not make a sound” the wraith ordered and was gone. 

John did not bother removing his arm from his face. Maybe someone would get in a lucky shot and finish him. Maybe he should disregard the wraith’s instructions and move, just to improve the odds of that happening. Still, he feared that Todd would get the better of whoever or whatever was coming their way, and then he would have to deal with a very annoyed wraith to boot. John didn’t want to deal with anyone, so he simply stayed put. 

From his vantage point up on the tree over the colonel, Todd could see six Genii soldiers approaching. Two of them moved towards Kolya’s dried husk. The others approached Sheppard. He fired two shots of his stunner to the Genii by the cliff, and dropped to the ground amidst the four soldiers below him. He snapped the neck of the first before they had any chance to process what was happening, and sent the second one flying over Sheppard, with a well-placed punch to the chest. The hand to hand combat against the two that were left standing would not be complicated. Todd ducked punches and ignored bullets until he knocked one of them unconscious, then turned to the last one, sucking him dry in seconds. But he had missed something. His wounds already healing, he made to rise only to find himself staring down the three-barrel shotgun that the Genii army favoured. He knew that he would not survive a triple shot to the head. 

He had expected the sound of the gunshot. He had not expected to survive it. As the Genii soldier fell to the ground, the shotgun toppling useless from his hands, he saw Sheppard’s immobile figure, a couple of meters back from where the Genii had stood, his 9mm still raised and smoking in his hand. 

John had felt the Genii soldier stumbling over him, and had instinctively kicked up at him, simultaneously reaching for his handgun before planting a bullet in the man’s head. When he turned around, he did not hesitate to send the second Genii to his death. He wondered when exactly he had turned into an executioner to protect a wraith. He crushed the thought before slowly lowering his gun... 

Todd gave a curt nod before standing up. He then walked over to any soldiers still alive and relished in the sensation of their life force running through his system. 

“You shouldn’t have killed them” John told him when he was done, but there was no fire in his voice.

To Todd, it was evident that the human still had some moral qualms about killing enemies, if it could be avoided. However, he had done nothing to stop him, even though he had plenty of chance. The wraith hissed. He knew this state of mind, when one lingers between who he used to be and who he might become, swinging back and forth before choosing a direction and taking a step towards it. He decided to push a little. 

“You are correct. They did not deserve a quick death.” 

“Maybe I did.” It was not something John would have said aloud – ever. He faintly noted his own surprise at his words, but still could not bring himself to care. He felt bizarrely disconnected from himself, as if nothing he said or did really mattered any more. Keeping up appearances had suddenly dropped out of his priority list. Not a lot of appearances a one-handed soldier can keep, anyway.

“If they had killed you, John,” the wraith’s voice was gentler than he had ever heard it “I would hunt down and feed on every last one of their kind.” 

John shot him a shocked look. He was annoyed and flattered in equal parts, because it was obvious that the wraith was telling the truth. He shook his head. The Genii may not be his favourite people in the galaxy, but they did not deserve genocide. 

Todd saw the change in the colonel’s demeanor, some of the patented resolve coming back to his eyes and nodded. 

“We should go find your team.”

“Kolya said he killed them.”

“And he has never lied before?” 

John thought that this was an excellent point, so he followed the wraith into the forest. 

 

//////////


	2. The short way back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was Todd doing there, anyway?

After walking in silence for a few minutes, John turned to the wraith and asked:

“Why?” 

Todd did not pretend to misunderstand the question. He kept walking straight ahead, scanning the forest for danger or for signs of the new Lanteans. 

“You saved me.” He finally grunted. 

“Yeah, well, I had ulterior motives, what with saving myself and all...”

The muscles of Todd’s jaw clenched. 

“You gave me hope.” He finally managed, and that was all he would allow himself to admit. 

John did not press it. Instead, he chose to focus on the facts. He needed to keep his mind occupied. “How long were you their prisoner anyway?” 

“Prisoner!” The wraith let out a bark, then shook his head and decided to answer. “I lost count, down there…. It was only when we escaped that I realized it had been more than twenty years…” 

“I thought you said you were around during the war against the Ancients. Twenty years should be a blip on the radar for you.”

“All beings live in the present, Sheppard.” Todd shot him a pointed look. “Besides, you forget that wraith spend most of their life hibernating. We wake up for a few years, anywhere from two to five in times of peace, then we hibernate for several decades while the other hives take turns…”

John would have responded something, but his forward momentum was brought to a stop by Todd’s raised arm. At his inquiring look, the wraith pointed towards a clearing ahead of them. John strained his ears and could hear barely distinguishable voices. He could not tell if it was his team or not. He shook his head and shrugged. They were too far away. 

The wraith went right, he went left, handgun already in his hand. As he approached, he saw that there was a dart in the middle of the clearing. Whoever was talking was hidden behind it. John briefly wondered how the Genii had gotten ahold of the dart, and managed to fly it almost all the way to Atlantis undetected. They must have approached from the other side of the planet, he assumed. A lone dart was too small to be detected by their usual sensors. 

His thoughts derailed and he drew in a shaky breath, when he realized that Kolya had lied once again. This time, John was ridiculously happy for the former military leader’s tendency to deceive. There was one guard left, and John silently took aim. 

Moments before pulling the trigger, another figure came into view. A wraith, this time. Not his wraith. He bared his teeth in a snarl. So that’s how the Genii had managed. Kolya had made a deal with a wraith. It was not destined to last. An electric blue light spread over the wraith, who fell to his knees, and John did not hesitate before pulling the trigger and making the Genii soldier a footnote in history. He saw Todd coming out of the edge of the tree line, repeatedly firing his stun gun until the other wraith lay immobile on the ground. A few seconds later it was dead, all life-force sucked out of it. 

Todd did not enjoy feeding on wraith, but it was a very effective way of killing them. He slowly rose and looked at Sheppard, who had now joined him. The two members of his team were sitting with their back against the dart, hands and feet tied, mouths gagged. Realizing that Sheppard could not help them, Todd crouched towards them. They both squirmed and trying to back away, ending up half-lying on the ground.

“Relax.” He ordered them, but it must not have sounded too convincing, judging by their huge eyes. 

“He won’t hurt you.” John told them, as he turned away and walked to the other side of the dart, gritting his teeth. He hated being useless, and just managed to refrain from banging his head against the cool metal, as he sagged against the small fighter. He liked darts. It was not a sentiment that he could share with the people on Atlantis. One of his secret desires was to fly a dart through the gate and into Atlantis’ gate room. He wondered if he would have the time to open the canopy to let them know it was him, before they tried to shoot it down. Maybe he should warn them in advance, he mused. 

Todd wisely left the gags on, so that the two scientists would not have the opportunity to scream. Despite the colonel’s words, they seemed far from reassured. He wondered why John’s usual team had not accompanied them. Then again, they probably did not expect any surprises at the mainland of New Lantea. His jaw muscles flexed in frustration, as he quickly and efficiently released the two humans from their bonds. They both staggered away from him, ripping off their gags. Todd did not spare them a second look before he turned his back on them, walking towards Sheppard. 

“So, how come you’re here anyway?” Clearly the colonel was looking for a distraction.

Todd sat down next to him and offered a half-smile. “I detected a dart coming your way. It piqued my curiosity.”

“Guess it was carrying the Genii in its cargo…. So where is your dart anyway?” 

“I landed close to your jumper.”

The botanists had made their tentative way towards them, by then, and John made the introductions. 

Parrish looked at the wraith as if it was some interesting new plant. Todd snarled, not appreciating the scrutiny. That sent the scientist a couple of meters backwards, before he started snaking his way towards the wraith again. So enthralled was he, that he completely ignored Kiang’s soft gasp.

“Colonel…” Kiang wore an expression of shock and sympathy that John could not stand even for a second.

“Let it be, doctor” came Sheppard’s reply. It was accompanied by a steely look that effectively silenced her.

She nodded, silently, and turned away, her eyes filling with tears. 

“Time to head back to the jumper” John ordered, as he rose from the shade of the dart. The wraith fell into step beside him, the two botanists trailing behind. 

 

//////////

 

The Genii had done a real number on the jumper. John wondered if it would still fly at all. At least there were no more soldiers around. Apparently, all of them had gone in search of their commander, when he stopped responding to the radio. Sheppard and Todd worked silently for several minutes. Anything the Genii had done, they were certainly able to undo. The alternative would be to radio Atlantis for help, and John wanted to postpone any reunion for as long as possible. Working with the wraith, even if the repairs took longer due to John’s new handicap, was by far the better option. He studiously ignored his severed hand, lying on the main console. At some point when John was in the back compartment of the jumper, Todd removed it and wrapped it in a dry cloth before quickly wiping off the blood from the instruments. Maybe the human doctors would be able to do something about it. 

The jumper was ready to fly not long after, and John motioned the two botanists inside. For the first time in his life, he appreciated the Ancient’s mind-controlled technology. He did not need both hands to fly the jumper. Hand controls were available only as a secondary system, one that he enjoyed due to his background as a pilot, but they were not strictly needed. 

“Hey, I thought you said your dart was here?”

“It is.” The wraith produced a small device and pressed a button. A dart uncloaked, not twenty meters away. 

“You bastard! That’s Ancient technology!” John was furious.

“I don’t see why you are upset, colonel. If I hadn’t stolen and adapted this technology for myself, I would not have been able to follow the other dart undetected.”

The words sunk in, and half of John’s anger faded away. 

“We - _You_ – can’t let the wraith have this kind of technology.” 

“Why would I give up such a tactical advantage to the other hives?” Todd grinned. “Rest assured Sheppard, Atlantis will face no threat by cloaked darts. I intend to keep their number down to one.”

John bit his lip. It wasn’t like he could do anything about it. If Todd wanted to share the technology, or if he had done so already, it was too late to stop him now. In any case, John’s own days in Atlantis were numbered, he was certain. Cloaked darts, if any, would be somebody else’s problem. He started towards the jumper, but Todd stopped him. 

“Sheppard…” John turned to look at him. The wraith was uncharacteristically looking away into the distance. “The reason I was… in the area… was to give you this.” He produced another device from his leather coat, handing it to John. It made a small humming noise when it came in contact with the human’s skin. “I already have a way of contacting Atlantis, or of asking for... ” clearly this was difficult for the wraith to admit “...assistance... if I choose to activate the subcutaneous transmitter. Now you have a way of contacting me as well.”

John took it for what it was – a peace offering after the fallout of the Attero device – and nodded. 

“I guess the new CO will be the one using it.”

The wraith grinned his evil grin. “It’s locked to your DNA.”

John chose to ignore the implications of this. It seemed that the wraith wanted to keep him around, but he was yet not ready to explore the reasons. 

“Don’t think that this makes up for almost killing everybody on the Daedalus.” 

“Your runner left me no other choice.”

John considered this, and finally allowed “I understand that, not that agree with your course of action.”

Todd was surprised at the concession. Sheppard was not one to justify any actions taken against his people, no matter how reasonable they may have seemed to the wraith commander. He was leaving a door open, and Todd decided to walk through it.

“Next time, I will not be so quick to dismiss your words, John Sheppard. I should have believed you, when you said you were not the one doing this.” 

They nodded at each other, before heading their separate ways.


	3. Adjustment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretending is easier than adjusting.

Becket and Keller tried their best, but there was no way to save John’s hand. The tissue had simply deteriorated too much to allow for any reattachment procedure. John simply nodded and told them not to worry about it. He ignored the distressed looks on their faces. They were doctors. They wanted to help. He was beyond helping. He turned his back to them and walked out of the infirmary. 

He went straight to Woolsey’s office, because it was better than seeing Teyla, or worse Rodney, and having to watch them deal with what happened to him. Might as well let the news spread, so that people had some time to process it. He could swear he’d punch the next person that bumped into him, in a corridor or in a transporter, and gasped. His right hook was mean too, which meant that any unlucky persons would then have to visit the infirmary themselves. He smiled a little at that, as he knocked on Woolsey’s half-open door. 

He had not expected to find the head of Atlantis with company. The red-haired scientist was new to the city, and, judging from the body language between the two, she and the leader of the expedition had hit it off. John felt glad for him. The man had seemed lonely enough over the past few months. Why not enjoy some company? Dr. Vanessa Conrad seemed quite nice. She was discreet too, avoiding any comments and making herself scarce within seconds. 

 

As soon as the door had closed behind her, Woolsey turned to Sheppard and motioned him to a chair. Only after they were both seated, did he speak. 

“Dr. Keller called me a few minutes ago. I am so sorry, colonel.”

John simply nodded, a hard expression on his face preventing Woolsey from offering any more sympathy than that. 

He quickly filled his civilian superior in on the events that had transpired on the mainland, glossing over the details of having his hand severed, and finishing by presenting the small device that Todd had given him. 

“I am certain that Dr. McKay will be excited to see this. Have you showed it to him yet?” 

John squirmed a little in his seat. 

Woolsey shot him a piercing look. After a moment’s consideration, he nodded to himself. He was willing to offer what little he could, even if it only meant delaying the inevitable. "As a matter of fact, colonel, I was planning to head down to the labs myself. I will take it to him, if that's OK with you."

"Yes sir." The relief made John fall back to familiar military patterns. Of course, he realized that Woolsey was giving him an out, but he couldn't quite bring himself to protest. He relaxed, having avoided an imminent meeting with his scientist friend. 

“So, how does it work?” Woolsey's voice snapped John out of his reverie.

John shrugged. “Didn't really come with a manual. Todd said that it was linked to my DNA; it kinda buzzed when I touched it. I guess McKay will be able to figure out the rest. It has a total of two buttons, it shouldn’t be too hard.”

“How considerate of the Wraith, to make something simple enough for us to handle.”

John offered a lopsided grin. It was a rare occasion to hear the head of Atlantis joking. 

“He’s also sorry for his recent behaviour.”

“Did he say that?” 

“Not in these words exactly… ” 

“And what were his exact words?” Woolsey was intrigued.

“That Ronon left him no choice, by disabling the Daedalus’ weapons, and that next time he will listen to us and give us a chance to explain.”

“Should I take it that when you say ‘us’ he actually only referred to you?” Woolsey had a knack for reading between the lines. 

“That might be an accurate description.” 

 

//////////

 

Rodney kept on proposing all kinds of prosthetics, talking about mind-controlled robotics and feedback mechanisms sending signals directly into his brain. John kept on refusing. He didn’t know why he refused. Rodney assured him it would be just like a real hand. Maybe that was the problem. 

Woolsey had told him to take all the time he needed. John had been holed up in his room for two days, and he was already getting cabin fever. Not that he had to stay in his room, of course. He simply did not want to talk to anyone. At all. Ever. He still made the rounds, had lunch with his team – careful to choose only things that did not need cutting, and someone must have tipped the chefs, because there was always something appropriate – and kept up appearances. But the time that he would have normally spent off-world, he now spent looking at the ceiling and keeping his door double-locked with Atlantis’ convenient mental locks. 

The reaction from SGC came soon enough. He was officially Atlantis’ military commander; that, at least, did not change. But it was strongly recommended, and who could blame them, to hand over the leadership of the SGA-1 team to someone else. He also had to attend weekly meetings with the resident psychologist, who everybody pretended did not exist. But she did, and she was nice, and patronizing, and Sheppard could barely stand her. He could fake it though. He could fake it with the best of them. Years in war zones, successful and unsuccessful missions, they pretty much all ended in psych evaluations for one reason or another. Sometimes it was only a formality. Sometimes it was more than that. No matter what had happened on the mission, John had learned to bury it all deep down, and put on a show for them.

 

It was the little things that frustrated him. Like the fact that he could not open his own beer. It was the European kind, with the pry-off caps, that required a bottle opener. After the glass bottle slipped from his grasp for the second time, he had hurled it across the room and watched beer run down the wall for a few minutes, before starting to diligently clean up. No point in raising questions. 

By the end of the week, he wanted to go-off world so badly, that he was ready to beg for it. 

“Give me a mission, any mission.” He told Woolsey behind closed doors. 

Woolsey had nodded and coughed uncomfortably. He finally proposed that Major Lorne could become an addition to the SGA-1 team, until further notice. In this context, ‘until further notice’ meant ‘permanently’. Woolsey had waited for the colonel’s answer with trepidation, but Sheppard was desperate enough that he accepted right away. He liked Lorne, plus he was the one less likely to give him any pitying stares. Whether this was because Lorne was not a regular member of John’s team, or because they shared the military mentality, did not matter. Come to think of it, John would have preferred to join Lorne’s team, instead of the other way round. But this would have definitely raised some eyebrows, and wisely John never suggested it. 

The missions were short, safe and utterly boring, but they kept John from crawling out of his own skin, while he was in Atlantis. McKay was becoming grumpy. John wondered how long it would take for the scientist to opt out. It seemed that the only reason he was coming along, was so that he could spend some time with his friend. John wondered if he could put off the inevitable ‘talk’ for the rest of eternity. Ronon was more taciturn than usually, his fighting skills rarely called for. He had taken to teaching tracking to a group of soldiers. He had asked Sheppard if he wanted to join. John had declined. He had no idea why he had declined. Teyla was the one who embraced the change. The new missions focused on negotiations and trade, and she was a natural leader in these situations. 

 

Every night, he would beg Atlantis to give him more soundproofing. Every night, the city would comply with a sigh, so that his screams were not heard. 

 

//////////

 

“You can’t avoid me forever, you know!”

“What do you want, McKay?”

“I want you to talk to me. I want us to grab a couple of beers and sit on a pier after midnight. Is that too much to ask for?”

“Yes.”

 

Teyla was the next one to try. The thing with Teyla was that she did not take ‘no’ for an answer. She kindly suggested that learning one-handed combat with the Bantos rods would be useful. He said he didn’t want to. She said she didn’t care. That’s how he ended up spending his afternoons sparing with her. At least she didn’t attempt to make him talk. 

He did appreciate the physical exertion though, and the sound of the sticks, wood hitting wood, was strangely cathartic. He always thanked her sincerely after a session. He couldn’t really lay his palms on her shoulders any more. The first day, she had insisted that they do the Athosian farewell, and he had awkwardly placed his stump on her shoulder. She must have sensed his discomfort,which should not have been too hard since he had had to grit his teeth not to pull away, because she never asked him to do it again. 

He also had to trade in his P90 for some different weaponry. He strategically placed handguns and wraith stunners all over his uniform. When alone in his room, he would practice throwing and catching the stunner or the (not loaded because he was not quite so suicidal) handgun one-handed.

For the first time in his life, he was caught up with all his paperwork. His two direct reports, Lorne and Teldy, had always been diligent about submitting detailed reports. Now he found that he enjoyed reading them. He also enjoyed staring at the wall of his office and thinking if he would have done things differently. He feared that the comparison would not be favourable to him. He knew which mission he should have handled differently. He should have let go of that root. That thought was inevitably followed by the image of Todd killing every living Genii, and that was usually enough to put a stop to his brooding. 

 

//////////


	4. Initiation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John needs a change

One evening of complete and utter boredom, John took out the device that Todd had given him. 'What the hell,' he thought. 

_“Wanna meet for a beer?”_ he wrote, and sent off the message. 

McKay had explained that the device had two uses. It could act as an emergency beacon, but it could also send and receive messages, in text, audio or data format. It had taken him less than half an hour to incorporate an English-to-Wraith translator. The content of the messages was encrypted and bounced off various satellites in the Pegasus Galaxy before reaching its destination. Depending on the location of Todd’s hive, it could take hours or days for the message to arrive. It wasn’t like John was in any hurry. He smirked when he thought that it was entirely possible that Todd had never had a beer in his life. That would need to be remedied. 

 

_“Be there in a jiffy”_ came the answer approximately 36 hours later. John could only stare at the screen for a few minutes, before murmuring “What the fuck?” and starting off towards McKay’s lab. 

“McKay! What the hell have you done with this Wraith-to-English translator?” 

Rodney just stared at him for a few seconds – which John thankfully missed because he was still looking at the screen of the device – then sprang into action. So happy was he, to see John’s old self back, that he dropped everything he was doing and grabbed the device. It was the first time in over a month that John had initiated any kind of conversation not strictly related to a mission, as well as the first time he had ventured into Rodney’s lab on his own volition. Rodney was not about to let the opportunity slip. 

“What do you mean? I used our standard program—“

“Our standard program contains the word ‘jiffy’?” Sheppard did not sound convinced.

“Jiffy?” Rodney stared at him. “The program is pretty thorough, but...” He then started murmuring mostly to himself “Do wraith even have a word for ‘jiffy’?” and he placed the small device aside, while moving towards one of the bigger screens in the lab. 

John sighed. This, clearly, was not a prank by McKay. Assuming the translation was accurate, it meant that Todd was in a playful mood. That did not always bode well for Atlantis, but it never failed to be interesting. 

“Well, I’ll be damned: Jiffy.” McKay was staring at a screen, shaking his head. 

“McKay!”

“More precisely: ‘In a jiffy’. It’s one of the phrases that Todd added to our dictionary the last time he was here, when we were waiting for Teyla to recover from surgery. We had a bit of time in our hands so... I let him have a go at it, and he told me that he uploaded some wraith slang phrases and their translation.” 

“What, you simply gave him access to the database, just like that?”

“Well no, of course not just like that. I had the program in a non-networked laptop, he made his additions, I checked in case there was a virus or something, and then one of the linguists went over the proposed translations. It was all pretty straight-forward.”

John took back the device thoughtfully. He wondered how long a ‘jiffy’ would turn out to be. He was almost out the door, when the device beeped again. 

_“Your room or mine?”_ It said. 

“What the fuck?!” He turned back around, and found Rodney eagerly looking at him. “McKay! This cannot be right.” He passed the device back to the scientist, who obligingly run the wraith message through their translator. 

“Yours... mine... dwellings... It sounds correct, more or less... Maybe he was not aware of the implications of the phrase?”

John cocked an eyebrow at him. 

McKay shrugged. “This is Todd we are talking about. He’s probably messing with you.”

John growled. That was what he was afraid of. 

 

//////////

 

A little after midday the next day, a hive dropped out of hyperspace and established orbit above Atlantis. Todd sent a cordial message to Woolsey, and requested to speak with Sheppard. It only took a few minutes for the colonel to jog from the gym, where he was sparring with Teyla, to the control room. 

“Colonel.” the wraith inclined his head in that regal way of his.

“Todd.” 

“I was wondering whether you would like to pay a visit to my hive. There is an interesting piece of technology that I would like to show you.”

As far as excuses went, it was not bad. John did wonder why exactly it was that Todd felt the need to use one, though. It wasn’t like him, to keep up appearances for the sake of others. ‘In for a penny, in for a pound’, he figured. 

“Sure.”

“I’m coming too.” It was Ronon that chipped in. Somehow the Satedan, Teyla and McKay had all found their way to the control room. 

Todd’s eyes grew dangerous, but Sheppard cut him off before he could do more than that. 

“That won’t be necessary, Ronon.”

“Colonel, I certainly cannot let you go alone.” Woolsey seemed deeply uncomfortable with the idea. 

John turned to him, practiced laid-back ease back in place. “You told me to take all the time I need, right?” He did not wait for Woolsey to respond. “Well, as of today you can consider me on vacations.”

Woolsey opened his mouth, then closed it again. Obviously, if the colonel wanted some time off, he was going to grant it to him. And he could not very well dictate how Sheppard would spend it. But the concept of spending it in a hive was... well... unusual. He shook his head. With no imminent threats to Atlantis – except for the hive currently above them, he corrected himself – it was as good a time as any to let the colonel use some of his accumulated vacation time. He reluctantly nodded. 

Sheppard thanked him and turned to the screen. “Let me grab my things. West pier in 15 minutes.”

Todd nodded and shut down the connection. 

When John left the control room, the rest of this team still lingered, looking at each other uncomfortably. 

 

//////////

 

“Are we really going to let him do this?”

“I agree with you, Ronon, but I don’t see how we can stop him.” The head of Atlantis did not like the situation either. 

“We could claim insanity and lock him up.” McKay provided unhelpfully. 

“That is an excellent way to ensure he will never speak to any of us again.” Teyla said wisely. 

 

At the end, it was Lorne who gave in first. “Might as well let him go. If they wanted to kill each other, they would have done so long ago.”

“What if he takes the colonel as a hostage?” Having been kidnapped himself – albeit more by chance, than by design – Woolsey was hesitant.

“It would be an empty threat. Do you really think that this wraith would hurt Sheppard?” 

A small smile formed on Teyla’s lips. “I, for one, do not think he would.”

Ronon grunted. His input was noted. They all started towards the west pier. 

 

//////////


	5. Outlet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John needs something. And Todd knows what it is.

Atlantis lowered her shields, as John walked out by the water. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and the surface was glistering. He had half a mind to go for a swim. He would have been really tempted, if he didn’t have an audience. No amount of persuasion was enough to convince him to take off his clothes in front of others nowadays. He steered his thoughts away from that, and focused on the fact that he had an appointment to keep. As no darts appeared, John wondered if Todd wanted to impress the Atlanteans with his cloaked dart. He hoped not. 

Indeed, Todd had something else planned. Suddenly, John dissolved in a bright beam. Not a culling beam from a dart. An Asgardian beam. Woolsey’s mouth dropped open. 

 

//////////

 

When John rematerialized inside the hive, he found himself looking at Todd’s smug face. 

“You bastard, that is Asgardian technology!” He shouted and promptly clocked the commander on the chin. It must have caught Todd off guard, because he stumbled back. 

The wraith growled in warning. 

“I told you, I had an interesting piece of technology to show you.”

John hit him again, just because he could, and because apparently his survival instinct was not what it used be. 

“Stop hitting me, Sheppard!”

“Give me a good reason.”

“The fact that you are alone in my hive is not reason enough?”

“It would appear not.” He hit he wraith again for good measure.

The next second, he found himself pinned against the organic wall, arms pushed high above his head, the wraith careful to grab both arms near the elbows. John barely noticed the courtesy, defiantly looking into yellow eyes. He could be wrong, but he thought he saw a hint of... satisfaction? in there... He did not have time to process it, as the wraith suddenly let go, turned around and in one smooth movement threw a wooden stick at him. John caught it expertly, his hand reflexively closing against the smooth weapon. 

“If you insist on fighting, we might as well...” the wraith hissed. 

 

It was nothing like fighting Teyla. Teyla was a teacher, and John was a student, and they never tried to hurt each other. Against Todd, John went all out. He could finally unleash all his anger and frustration and he really did want to hurt the wraith. He wanted to see his opponent bleeding on the floor and he wanted to stand victorious above him, more than he ever wished for anything in his life. 

He did not know how long they fought. They jumped and they rolled and the sound of wood clacking against wood was sometimes interrupted by the sound of wood connecting with flesh or bone. Both of their faces sported deep cuts. Their grunts and heavy breathing punctuated the choreography. It was when Todd ducked low to avoid a hit, and then rolled with the momentum, that John saw his opening. Before the wraith had the time to get up, John’s rod found soft flesh at the neck, and pierced it. 

The sight of dark blood pooling around the rod, which now protruded from Todd’s neck, froze him in place. He stumbled back, letting go of his weapon, unable to form any coherent thought in his mind. The wraith lied on his back, one hand wrapped around the rod, holding it in place. It must have lasted only a split second, but to John it felt like an eternity before the doors were thrown open and a group of wraith stormed the room. One of them dragged him away, and the human was too shocked and too spent to resist. As if in a dream, he saw Todd lifting his feeding hand and placing it on a wraith with long, meticulously braided hair. He vaguely noticed that the wraith’s hands were tied, and that he was held in place by Todd’s soldiers. As life flowed into him, Todd slowly pulled the Bantos rod out of his neck. It only took a few seconds for the wound to heal. 

John let his head fall back and allowed himself to breathe again. It was only as the adrenaline started to subside, that he noticed that they were, in fact, in a gym. He put together the pieces then, and realized that Todd had planned the whole thing. He should probably be offended at that, but, for the time being, he only felt grateful that he had not killed his friend. Friend? Whatever. He could not bring himself to keep up appearances in his own mind, at that very moment. Maybe later. 

When Todd loomed over him, offering him his hand – his feeding hand – to pull him up, John only hesitated for a split second. They were walking through dark and winding corridors before he managed to speak. 

“I’m-“

“Save it, Sheppard. I was aware of the risk I was taking.” With an amused look at the colonel, he continued “I had removed all sharp objects from the room. Didn’t quite want to risk beheading. Although I have to admit that your technique was... ingenious.” 

John shook his head, partly proud, for managing to surprise a wraith – Todd no less! – and partly embarrassed because killing without justification was not who he was. 

“How did you know?”

Todd shrugged. “One does not live millennia without picking up a few things. Wraith and humans are surprisingly alike when it comes to dealing with certain situations.” 

They had arrived in front of a door, and Todd opened it, motioning Sheppard inside. 

“Your quarters. My soldiers will drop off your bag in a few minutes. It should go without saying, but please do not kill any of them. You are in no danger here.”

John almost blushed at the reminder, so he kept his back to Todd, seemingly inspecting the room. When he was certain that he had his features under control, he turned back towards the wraith and nodded. 

With a soft exhalation that conveyed approval more than anything else, the wraith turned to leave. John raised his arm, seemingly wanting to grab Todd to stop him, but it was his left arm, so he didn’t. Instead, he looked at it, then let it fall by his side and stayed frozen in the middle of the room, watching the door slide closed.

 

//////////

 

Wraith bathrooms were weird. He realized that this room would have normally be reserved for a worshiper – hence the working facilities. But the English translations, stuck on labels all over, were clearly a recent addition. He smiled. He couldn’t help it. It was quite hilarious. It was thoughtful of Todd to go to the trouble of making his stay on the hive comfortable. But labels indicating “flush” were ridiculous no matter what. He shook his head and got under the shower. 

 

When he came out of the shower, his duffel bag was by the bed. On the bed itself, he found some more fresh clothes – how long did Todd plan to keep him here anyway? – and an iPod. An iPod. What the hell? He picked it up and pressed play. What sounded suspiciously like earth music came out of the earphones. Had Todd stripped the Daedalus bare before he left? 

He had a split lip and one of his eyes was rapidly becoming black, but he didn’t care too much. If he was lucky, he would be able to find some ice for it. He dressed quickly and headed out, finding a masked soldier stationed outside his room. John expected him to raise his weapon as soon as the door opened, but the soldier simply bowed his head. 

“Hm. I could get used to that…” John mused as he started walking down the corridor, making his way towards the bridge. Or at least he hoped he was heading to the bridge. Without McKay and his gadgets, he would be lucky if he did not end up in the feeding hold. He cringed and continued on. 

After twenty minutes, the situation was becoming ridiculous. 

“You wouldn’t happen to know where I could find Todd, would you?” 

The soldier stared right ahead – or at least that’s what John assumed. It’s not like he could see his eyes. 

“You know, the tall, scary, manipulating commander of this hive?”

The drone stayed impassive. John figured his orders were limited to escorting him around the ship. 

He got lucky at some point, and bumped into Kenny. 

“Sheppard, we’ve been looking all over for you.”

“Todd forgot to give me a map.”

Kenny turned around and led them towards the correct direction. John could have sworn he saw him roll his eyes.


	6. Practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Todd's pet project.

Todd was sitting on the throne. Todd looked mightily imposing sitting on the throne, and John had to swallow hard. The reasons for Todd sitting on the throne were still unclear, but a part of John’s brain wished for a camera. A photo would be priceless. Being caught staring wouldn’t do, so he continued forward. Kenny and the drone had discretely departed. 

“Beer, you said…” the commander drawled out and reached behind him, producing a bottle. Where he had found it, was a mystery. He threw it to John, but it was a bit too low, and a bit too far to the left, and John was still too sore, so it crashed to the floor. Todd had too perfect of a coordination for this to have been an accidental bad throw. John glared at him, then looked at the floor. The hive floor had done an amazing thing and all the broken glass and spilled liquid had disappeared. Self-cleaning floor. Interesting, a part of his brain noted. He started moving towards Todd, but the wraith stopped him. 

“Don’t move.” 

John stopped in his tracks and waited, intrigued.

“You need to use your left forearm.”

“Kinda difficult.”

The wraith hissed. “I noticed while we were… sparring… that you behave as if you’ve lost an arm at the shoulder. This is not the case.” 

John had tensed up and his jaw was clenched, but, as Todd had instructed, he had not moved. 

Another bottle came his way, and this too crashed to the floor, as John was just a little bit too slow to position himself correctly for a right-hand catch. He growled at the wraith. 

“It is not ability that you lack, it is the willingness to use what you have.”

A third bottle crashed to the floor, and John let out a long steadying breath. 

“I do not have an infinite supply of beer, Sheppard.” 

John cursed under his breath. He realized that Todd would probably not give up after all the beer bottles were broken. He, on the other hand, would be left without alcohol, which he was really going to need by the end of the day. 

The next bottle bounced off his left arm before crashing to the floor. 

“Better” came the wraith’s low voice.

It didn’t seem like better to John, but why argue with the person who managed the alcohol supply?

Three more bottles bounced off his left arm and crashed to the floor before he managed to catch one with his right hand at the rebound. Todd seemed pleased, but said nothing. He just held out his hand and John threw the bottle back at him. Todd carefully placed it on the side of the throne. 

 

At some point, John started doubting the whole ‘I don’t have an infinite supply of beer’ statement. When more than two dozen bottles had accumulated next to Todd, he decided it was more than enough to give him a pleasant buzz. For the next few days. 

“Either you overestimated how much humans drink, or you underestimated my coordination skills. Which is it?” 

Todd laughed and got up. 

“I factored in your stubbornness.” 

Yeah, okay, that would explain it. 

Todd threw an arm over John’s shoulders and led them towards another door. It felt strange, having the weight or the wraith’s arm across his shoulders, and John did not know how to respond. When in doubt, do nothing, was his motto, so he kept on walking. 

They crossed Kenny in the corridor, and by then Todd had removed his arm, thankfully. Clearly Todd and Kenny had a telepathic conversation, because the second in command turned on his heel and headed towards another direction. 

Todd answered the inquiring look in John’s eyes with an amused one in his own. 

“It appears that we’re ahead of schedule.”

John didn’t know if that meant that the hive was ahead of schedule to wherever they were going, or if Todd’s plans for John were ahead of schedule. He decided he didn’t need to know. A wise man had said to never ask questions you’re not prepared to get the answer to. John really did not want to be informed of what Todd had planned for him. Sometimes ignorance was indeed bliss. 

  
  


“Huh. I should really start paying attention to where we’re going…” They were at the dart bay, and John had no idea how they got there. 

The commander grinned. “Yes, maybe you should.” He then pointed towards a dart parked a few meters away from them. 

John approached slowly, and under his hand the canopy opened, revealing the inside. Clearly this had been another of Todd’s pet projects, because at the right-hand side of the seat was a button with something written in wraith and then ‘English.’ 

“Are you fucking kidding me? You translated a dart?” 

“I had to amuse myself somehow until you called, no?”

“How did you know that—Never mind…” 

Sheppard gingerly leaned over and pressed ‘English’. Immediately, all the screens changed to his native language. He shook his head in amazement.

“You can take her for a spin as soon as we reach our destination.”

John was lightly caressing the dart, an unconscious movement that barely registered. 

“And when would that be?” 

“Hmm” Todd shrugged innocently. “In approximately five minutes…”

John shot him a quick grin and jumped inside. Todd loomed over him, a smug expression on his face as he took in the sight of a born pilot in a fighter built for him. The wraith allowed himself one small smile. 

“There’s one more thing.” 

Todd held out something like a hard sleeve, fixing it around the dart’s steering stick and Sheppard’s left arm. If the dart offered any space for maneuvering, John would have recoiled. As it was, he simply turned his head, unwilling to look. 

Todd let out a dissatisfied grunt. Clearly the result was not to his liking. “It’s a work in progress. Future adaptations will be much better.”

John gritted his teeth. Surely Todd could have bypassed whatever need called for his right hand to be away from the steering stick. But making the request would be pointless, and in any case John really, really, did not want to have any such conversation. 

“Let’s just get on with it.”

“If you crash the dart, Sheppard, you will pay for it.” 

Somehow, John did not think that Todd was referring to money. 

“I think I can handle it.”

“We are going to a worshipper’s planet. Stay with me, and don’t do anything stupid.”

“Understood.”

 

//////////

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Todd looked so good sitting on the command chair of the Daedalus, that I could not help but put him on a throne. He clearly belongs there.)


	7. Planet-side

Kenny stayed behind, in charge of the hive. Todd and John were escorted by three more wraith, mainly for protection, John concluded. They all occupied high positions in the hierarchy of the hive, but all of them just happened to be some of the biggest and scariest wraith he had seen. Clearly Todd had chosen them carefully. 

They were walking through the small town, and it always surprised John to see people looking at the wraith with adoration rather than fear. It messed up with his view of the universe a little bit. It was almost nightfall on the planet, and small fires were starting to burn all over. From far away, music could be heard. It didn’t take them long to discover the source. Apparently, there were some festivities being held, and the spectators consisted of humans and wraith alike. John raised an eyebrow towards Todd, who shrugged. 

“It may not be part of our cultural heritage, but we often indulge in watching the humans, when they wish to put on a spectacle. I quite like the theatre and poetry evenings myself.”

John figured that this explained a lot. 

The setting reminded him of a small ancient Greek theatre. There were a few rows of raised seats in a semi-circle around the center stage. Small fire pits and torches were scattered all around. It was a warm evening, and so most of the fire pits were not in use. The torches around the stage were casting a warm glow on the participants. 

Apparently, tonight was dedicated to music, and several performers took the stage one after another. Some people even danced on nearby streets. John felt surprisingly peaceful as he leaned to rest his back against Todd’s legs. The wraith had explained the protocol: the master was supposed to sit on the chair or bench, while the human servant was to sit on the floor by his master. It would be best not to draw any attention, and truth be told John didn’t really mind sitting on the floor. 

It took him a while to realize that Todd’s fingers were lazily drawing small circles through his hair, while he himself had pulled up a knee, rested an elbow on it, and let his head be supported by his left arm. The realization startled him and he pulled away, looking back at the wraith.

“What did you do?” he whispered. 

“I simply helped you relax.”

“Don’t do it again.”

“As you wish.”

It hadn’t felt awkward. It hadn’t felt forced. It had felt... nice. Peaceful. John had no idea why he had asked Todd to stop. A small voice in his mind suggested that, as always, he did everything he could to punish himself. The same voice also suggested that this may be the reason he had rebuked all of Rodney’s and Keller’s proposals for a prosthetic. He clenched his jaw and asked the voice to shut up. 

 

//////////

 

When the performances degraded from artful to drunken, Todd stood and led them away towards another part of the town. They hadn’t walked long, when he stopped and knocked on the door of one of the most upscale buildings. A human opened it and ushered them in, asking them how many rooms they wished to occupy. 

“We’ll take the suite overlooking the lake, and the two rooms on either side.” 

Todd had clearly been there before. The human nodded eagerly and handed them three keys. 

“Would you like me to show you upstairs?”

“That won’t be necessary.”

Todd turned to leave, and nodded to one of his stewards. Message received, the other wraith raised his hand, and before turning away John saw the human eagerly opening his shirt. Payment was clearly in kind. 

 

//////////

 

The suite was beautiful. Decorated in wood and stone, it consisted of one big open space, dominated by a central fireplace. On either side of the fireplace, two king beds were covered in furs, the view partially obstructed by wooden dividers with intricate designs to provide some privacy to the occupants. Towards the back there was a door leading to a massive marble bathroom, while the other side of the room opened up to a spacious veranda. 

A knock on the door announced one of Todd’s stewards, carrying two cases of beer. With a look from Todd, he carried the lot outside and placed it between two recliners which looked as if they were made from bamboo. John followed him and had to do a double-take as he saw the wraith produce a Swiss army knife from his coat. He held out his hand for it. At least there was no Daedalus sticker on it. John snickered. Surely this should not be his default response to petty theft, should it?

The view was magnificent. A full moon reflected on the still surface of the lake, nothing but forest on the other side. He could faintly hear the music from the festivities drifting towards them, far away enough to be more of an entertainment than a nuisance. He turned the Swiss knife over in his hand while making himself comfortable on one of the recliners. Todd’s steward – let’s go with Brad – had discreetly retreated to his own quarters. John assumed that none of the three other wraith actually planned to sleep tonight. 

 

Todd disrupted his thoughts when he held an open beer bottle towards him. 

“What, you’re not gonna make me work for it?” John twirled the small knife between his fingers and raised an eyebrow inquiringly. 

The wraith grinned. “I will limit myself to silent encouragement, if you wish to use it.”

Well, that was new. It was a challenge though, and part of Sheppard itched to accept it...  
Maybe another time. He put down the knife and picked up the open bottle. It was chilled. He took a sip and let out an appreciative sigh. 

“Not bad. Do you guys drink beer?”

“Some wraith do, occasionally...”

“Do you?”

In lieu of an answer, the wraith picked up a bottle and twisted it in his hand. He gave it a good look all over before deciding to open it and sniff it experimentally. His first sip was tentative, and he rolled the liquid around in his mouth, trying to figure out the taste. 

John chuckled at Todd’s grimace. Watching the commander try something new was rare, being witness to a candid reaction was a gift. The taste was comparable to a crisp pale lager. Maybe Todd would have preferred something more fruity. 

“Next time you should go darker. They tend to have a more fruity taste.”

“You should have said so in advance.” Todd responded, and John had to laugh. 

“You know you don’t have to drink it.”

“You invited me out for a beer. It would be rude not to.” The statement was followed by a determined sip, and the sip was followed by Todd making another face. 

John shook his head and looked back over the lake. The commander was nothing if not stubborn. The music drifting towards them was relaxing, and Sheppard let his head fall back. 

“Tell me about this planet.”

“What do you wish to know?”

John shrugged. Anything. Everything. Subconsciously, he simply wanted the wraith to keep talking. Because his life had reached that point of weirdness, where hanging out with a wraith, drinking beer while watching the moon over a lake was actually relaxing. And he honestly did not want to ponder the implications of this, so he needed a distraction. 

Todd seemed to get it, though, and he slowly and elaborately explained to him all about the history of the planet and its inhabitants. When he was finished, John remained silent for a long while. His brain worked in mysterious ways, because his words, when he finally spoke, had nothing to do with the story. 

“I can’t believe you almost...” 

“I almost let you die.”

John turned towards him, shocked. Under the light of the full moon, he could make out the outline of Todd’s profile, looking straight ahead. Was it possible that the wraith was blaming himself for what happened on the New Lantea mainland? Was it possible that John himself blamed the wraith? 

“It was not your fault.”

“I should have gotten there sooner. I was too far behind. I had not predicted...”

“Is that why you almost let me kill you?”

“I took a calculated risk.”

“Yeah... Tell me, would you have still taken it, if you hadn’t come visiting that day?”

Silence stretched for a few minutes. Finally the commander grunted.

“Who doesn’t indulge in a bit of self-punishment occasionally?”

John let out a laugh, breaking the serious mood. 

“You’re telling me!” He shook his head and smiled. “Give me that thing!” He grabbed the Swiss army knife and stuck it between his teeth to open it, then lodged a beer bottle between his knees. It took him a couple of tries to find the right angle, but finally he sent the stubborn cap flying and raised the bottle towards Todd. “Cheers!” 

Todd looked at him for a full two seconds before raising his own bottle in acknowledgement. 

 

//////////


	8. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the price to pay is too high. Sometimes saving face is not worth it.

John didn’t get to the screaming part of his nightmare that night. He was woken by a firm hand lightly squeezing his shoulder and looked up to yellow eyes. 

“You were having a nightmare” the wraith informed him, as if he didn’t know already. His mouth was dry and he got up in search of some water. When he came back, Todd was still standing by his bed. 

“What? Are you gonna rock me to sleep?” the sarcastic comment passed through his lips before he had the time to stop himself. It elicited a growl from Todd, who retreated outside.

‘Great going John, just great...’ he thought to himself. 

//////////

When he woke up again, the room was empty. The thing with Todd was, he didn’t really bring along any possessions. And it’s not as if he would ever step out of the room without his leather coat. But when John saw his own duffel bag by the door, a cold feeling settled into the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t as if he was cut-off. The planet certainly had a Stargate, he could simply dial Atlantis and step right through. But he was alone. The sarcastic voice in his head informed him that pissing off a 10’000 year old commander, who apparently only wanted to help, had been a monumentally bad call. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. It did not matter. 

The view from the veranda was startlingly beautiful, the morning sun reflecting on the still surface of the lake creating the illusion of millions of little diamonds. It was a rare and peaceful sight, one that Todd had clearly enjoyed many times before. But there lay dragons, so John resolutely pushed that thought out of his head and turned his back to the sun. He left the room moments later, never to come back. 

He really had every intention of walking through the Stargate as soon as possible. Yet, somehow, his feet guided him to where they had left the darts the previous night. He was shocked to find his lone dart waiting for him. When he climbed inside and fired up the sensors, he could see that there was no hive in orbit. Todd’s ship had left. They had left him behind. He could have slapped himself, because he really should not have been thinking about the wraith in those terms. Not even that wraith. The one that saved his life. The one that had almost given up his own life, partly because of guilt, and partly because he had understood that John had needed that fight more than anything. The one that had forced him to face reality. The one that didn’t make him feel like an invalid. 

John wanted to scream and hit things, but he wasn’t that far gone that he would risk damaging his only means of transportation. He climbed out of the dart, letting his bag inside, and went in search of a fight. Surely worshipper planets would have their share of bar brawls. 

 

//////////

 

When the commander had walked out on the sleeping human, he had done so without a backwards glance. There were a lot of things he would put up with, because several millennia in this galaxy had gifted him with patience, if nothing else. But being made fun of, by a 30 year old human – a human! – did not make that list. He had been an old fool, not for the first time. But there was hope for him yet. When he mentally summoned his stewards, he was projecting in such a manner that they all cringed away from him. But the old wraith was not spoiling for a fight. No. The old wraith was going to do what he did best: plan. 

 

//////////

 

There were bar fights, and then there were bar fights with the fighters locked in steel cages and enough betting money to keep a small city afloat for a month. The adversaries were wearing pants, but nothing else. Shirtless and barefoot on the hard concrete, they circled each other looking for an opening. 

When his attacker made his move, he came from the left. It was expected, really, that he would try to exploit his opponent’s disability. What was not expected, was the expert way with which the young male blocked the blow. His mouth open in a snarl, he followed it up with a right hook that sent the attacker on his back. The next second he was on top of him, his right hand crushing the man’s throat, seemingly oblivious to the blows landing on his sides. The airflow to his brain cut off, his opponent soon went limp under him. Still, he did not let go. The doors to the cage were opened, and the stewards rushed in. Still, he did not let go. He had to be zapped repeatedly for him to finally loosen his grip. It was too late. The wraith was dead. 

He trudged up to his dart, took out a beer bottle, and studied it for a moment before he hurled it against the nearest tree. It was the last one, and its pieces joined the thousands of tiny pieces accumulated there over the past month. One bottle for each kill. 

He flipped a coin. Then, he got into the dart and dialed Atlantis. 

 

//////////

 

When Woolsey saw him, he appeared shocked. Understandable, John figured. He probably looked just like his nightmares felt. Bruises, cuts, couple of broken bones on the mend... Woolsey seemed reluctant to believe that Todd was not to blame for the colonel’s condition, until John told him he had been indulging in hand to hand combat to the death with wraith. Then Woolsey looked about 10’000 times more shocked than before, and froze in place, giving John the chance to go in search of a hot shower. 

At least his timing was impeccable. It took all of two days for the new threat to literally rise over the horizon, and Sheppard was ready and out for blood.

 

//////////

 

John had resigned himself to being the commander’s least favourite human, but no amount of preparation could ready him for the cold look in Todd’s eyes. It was hardly Todd any more. John’s heart constricted a little at the loss of an almost-friend, and then it constricted a lot more at the guilt. 

He had never seen a better impression of a heartless killer by anyone. He doubted anyone had. As always, Todd had been ruthless and calculating. The newsflash was that this time it was aimed against Atlantis, and, predictably, the city had fallen. Not a lot of things could stand in Todd’s way when he wanted something badly enough. He had even kept his word. The bastard had not used cloaked darts.

In vain Sheppard asked to meet with him. In vain he asked to negotiate. When he was finally brought in front of the commander again, he was bound and gagged. 

“Twenty three wraith you killed, John Sheppard. It is time for me to even the score.” The wraith’s voice sounded lofty as he began to randomly shoot people in the room. In vain John screamed that Todd didn’t know those wraith, that he would have probably killed them himself with no second thought, but that, on the contrary, these were John’s friends he was shooting at now; no word came out because the gag filled John’s mouth, until it didn’t anymore, and he screamed. 

It was the scream that woke him. 

 

//////////

 

Todd hadn’t dared wake John up from his nightmare. Not after the earlier rebuke. He was therefore utterly unprepared when the human came out to the veranda, walked towards him and simply draped himself over the wraith. 

“Sheppard--” he started, but the human cut him off. 

“Shut up.” John’s head was resting against the wraith’s chest, his legs straddling him. “Forgive me.”

The wraith’s hands came up to rest on John’s back in a tentative hug. 

“Of course, John.” And his voice had that soft, gentle quality again, the one that made John realize he was witnessing something precious. 

There were no nightmares after that.

  
  
//////////  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was it - my take on Todd essentially being John's psychologist. ;-)  
> I may be tempted to go somewhere with this in the future, but no promises.


End file.
